Fatigue with a Capital F

First of all, thanks a bunch to all of you who've commented, either publicly or privately, about the new blog. It's great to get feedback of any kind, and I appreciate your going out of your way to let me know what you think. Keep those notes a-comin'!

Secondly, I'd like to set the record straight on something: most of the time, I'd rather be sleeping. Contrary to what many of my closest friends may think, I'm generally a low-energy person. It's true, I do squawk an awful lot, and have been known to bouts of tom-foolery which may lead to madcap laughter on all sides, but, seriously? Having a lie-down would be preferable. I very much admire, and even aspire to be, those persons who call themselves "Weekend Warriors" who can design, sketch, and build an entire boat on a Saturday so they can take it sailing on Sunday. I love those people. I could watch them all day. But my idea of the perfect weekend, especially during the winter months, involves any mixture of the following: a blanket, a book, a cup of coffee, a board game, a movie, good food, and a magazine. Gently stir; repeat.

However, real life involves much more energy than my perfect weekend scenario requires. And boy, howdy, is it exhausting.

But here's my point, for those of you patient enough to wait for it: So, if I'm THIS tired, and I'm NOT the one with MS, then what the holy mackarel is Scott dealing with?

There are a lot of symptoms that come packed into the suitcase of Multiple Sclerosis. Everyone's suitcase comes packed a bit differently, but the one symptom that seems comes folded up nice and neat in every MS patient's luggage is Fatigue. With a capital F.

Scott says he's constantly tired, even shortly after he gets out of bed in the morning, and even after he's had a full 8 hours of those precious Z's. Whenever I say, "I KNOW! I'm beat,too! I'm about to fall asleep just standing here!", that's when he gives me "the look", and I know his "tired" beats mine, and I need to shut the heck up.

Through a friend who also has MS, Scott learned of a site called www.multiplesclerosissucks.com, It's not for everybody, but it appeals to Scott's and my sarcastic, cynical sides. On that site, the author details what he refers to as "Beer Theory", which is a callback to the "Spoon Theory", which you can read about here (www.butyoudontlooksick.com/the_spoon_theory). Here's the upshot of either version of the story:

Every day, you wake up with a limited number of spoons/beers that represent all the energy you will expend during an entire day. Each spoon/beer in your account will buy you, for instance: a trip out of bed, a 10-minute shower, a quick teeth brushing, a comb through your hair, etc....so, by the time you get to the kitchen, you've spent half your beers/spoons, and haven't even eaten breakfast. When Scott and I first read this theory, it made sense to us both immediately. "That's it! That's EXACTLY how I feel!" he said. Simple concept for a difficult thing to describe. YAYYY for simple!

As some one living with living with someone who has MS, especially since that someone still has full mobility, a full-time job, and is otherwise "healthy", it's sometimes easy to forget there's anything "wrong" with Scott at all. He's the same goofball I fell in love with more than a decade ago. So, whenever he says he's "tired", it's easy for me to try to join the club and bemoan how exhausted I am, because I worked all day, then picked up the kids, then grocery shopped, then cooked supper...the usual things that make us ALL exhausted during the day. But the thing I need to be mindful of is this: my tired does not equal his tired. When I say I've had a rough day, his has been rough before he gets down the stairs in the morning.

So the next time any of you run into me and I happen to yawn or mention how worn out I am, here's your golden opportunity to give me the "look" and tell me to shut the heck up. Scott? You're Welcome.